anyone loved can be lost
by princess-j3ss
Summary: The third and final installment in the Falling for the First Time series. Sheska and Kain navigate the rebuilding after the Promised Day together - one day at a time. Warning: Major Character Death. (Cover art done by the talented areyousanta on tumblr).
1. I

The afternoon following the Promised Day, Sheska's mother died.

She got the call from a tearful nurse. It sounded as though they had lost many of their patients when their souls left their bodies. Those who were already in a fragile condition could not handle the stress of it all, even once their souls had been returned.

"I'm so sorry, Sheska. We did everything that we could."

Stuck in a state of shock and numbness, Sheska spent the day curled up in a ball on her couch, barely moving as she let the news sink in.

The next day she forced herself to pull it together. Arrangements needed to be made, and it wouldn't help anyone if she were completely incapacitated.

The day after that, she quit her job. While she'd enjoyed working for the archives, she was fairly certain that she'd had enough excitement to last her a lifetime. And beyond that, it was difficult to want to continue working for an organization that she did not trust. There was a lot of trust that had to be rebuilt, among everything else that Amestris needed to do in order to rebuild itself as a country.

It wasn't that she did not wish to help, but more that she had seen how short and valuable life was, and wanted to live it to the fullest.

When she applied back for her old position at the library, they accepted her without hesitation. She'd matured and grown an exponential amount, and she was certain that they saw a change in her. Sheska wasn't the same person she had been all those years ago.

* * *

Kain Fuery also wasn't the man she had met all those months ago. War had a tendency to change people, and Sheska looked forward to getting to know him all over again.

The first time Sheska went to visit Mustang and Hawkeye, the room was empty, which came as a shock.

When Sheska walked into the room, the blonde Lieutenant was asleep, and the Colonel was staring in her general direction, smiling fondly though he couldn't possibly be seeing her.

Not wanting to startle him, she tiptoed her way into the room, but he turned towards her as soon as he heard her quiet footsteps.

"Colonel Mustang?" She whispered, so as not to wake Hawkeye, "Hi, I'm Sheska, I used to work for the military, and I'm friends with Kain, uh – I mean, Sergeant Major Fuery. He asked me if I could bring some books over."

Colonel Mustang chuckled lowly, "I remember you, Sheska."

"Right. Okay. Good."

She sat down by the already large pile of books and started adding her own additions, grouping them by category. After a moment, she stood back up again.

"Uh – Colonel? I think I kind of – well, inadvertently owe you an apology."

He was looking just over her right shoulder, and Sheska almost turned around to look before she reminded herself that he _couldn't see her_.

"Well I – actually, no. I think a thank you might be better suited."

"A thank you?"

"Yeah. A thank you for everything that you're going to do for this country."

Colonel Mustang's lips twitched up into a grin, and Sheska smiled back.

She waited for a few awkward moments for Kain to turn up, and when he didn't, she turned towards the door.

"Alright well I'll just, you know, make my way out here and-"

Cutting herself short, Sheska froze at a group of people coming through the doorway. Kain was there, with Breda and Falman, and -

Sheska shrieked, dropping her books as she ran over to Maria Ross. And then, without thinking about it, she threw her arms around the taller woman.

"I'm so glad to see you!"

"Hey!" Mustang was scowling, his voice low and commanding.

"It's fine, I'm fine." Hawkeye assured him.

"Oh! Oh no, I'm so sorry!" Sheska chastised herself. Of course she shouldn't be screaming in a hospital, especially when she was in the room of a sleeping patient.

"It's wonderful to see you too, Sheska!" Maria smiled at her, and Sheska smiled back. They had a lot to talk about, and she wondered how much Maria would be willing to tell her.

At least they got to rebuild in every sense of the word.

* * *

Sitting surrounded by piles and piles of books on Ishval that she'd borrowed from the library, Sheska smiled lightly to herself, listening to Heymans Breda quiz Colonel - or, rather, _General_ Mustang on the Ishval region.

The tentative plan was for the entire unit to relocate to the region to help the Ishvalans rebuild. Maria Ross would be accompanying them, along with Rebecca Catalina, Denny Brosh, and Alex Armstrong. A lot needed to be done to start rebuilding after everything that had happened on the Promised Day, but Sheska knew that both Mustang and Hawkeye felt it was important they put their resources and efforts into the Ishvalan region, first.

The soldiers that contributed to the Ishvalan war all felt like they had a lot to make up for, Sheska knew that now. Nothing could ever be undone, the terrors couldn't be forgotten, and shouldn't be forgotten.

But maybe, just maybe, everything that had happened could bring them one step closer to achieving peace. Equality. A unified world.

Sheska could only hope.

As soon as she could make arrangements for her mother, they had a small burial for her. According to the nurses, her mother had been one of the few of their hospital patients who had family they knew how to contact. Not only had a majority of patients been without family, but Sheska was alarmed by the amount of unmarked graves. Soldiers and civilians alike.

She'd read about wars, of course, all through history. Numbers were quantifiable, but it was completely different to see the slew of graves.

Kain squeezed her hand, and she was thankful that he was there to support her.

Maria Ross had also come to support her, and in a surprise of all surprises, so had Edward and Alphonse Elric. She wasn't sure how they'd even heard about it, but it was touching all the same.

"Are you ready to go?" Kain asked her, and Sheska shook her head.

"Can I meet you later?"

Worry flashed through Kain's eyes, but he nodded anyway. "Of course."

Sheska spent the next few hours letting the tears flow freely, picking wild flowers and placing them on all the unmarked graves that she could.

"I'm so sorry." She said to each one.

Sheska's visits to the hospital became more frequent, and she started to feel adopted into Mustang's band of unruly misfits.

It shocked her when it was revealed to her that General Mustang got his sight back, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know how it happened.

She and Kain fell into a routine, and though it was mostly a comfortable one, it was also different from before Kain left. Nights were broken by night terrors, when the time came for him to accompany Mustang to Ishval, Sheska told him that he needed to go. He insisted that she come with him, and it was set up that she would help restore Ishvalan archives. The library was disappointed to see her leave, but she promised that she'd be back, and they promised that she'd have a position when she did.

When Kain proposed, Sheska felt like the luckiest girl in the world, to be able to marry her best friend.

* * *

 **A/N:** Over a year later, I'm back, and hopefully back to stay. This took me a while to get back into, even though I'd had it planned out for over a year. The tumblr fandom created a really toxic environment for me, and it took away my love for creating, and my love for this show. I constantly felt guilt tripped and manipulated into reading fic, instead of reading it because it sounded enjoyable to me, and beyond that, writing certain things for certain people. But I love writing and creating, especially on my own terms, and realized I could continue doing that. Besides, these two deserved an ending, and everyone who took the time to read any of the first two of the trilogy, leave me comments, or send me messages deserve the ending too. It's not necessarily a happy one, but this is the direction the characters took. There were two possible endings I had in mind, but this is where we ended up. It was pretty difficult to write and I'm sure it'll be difficult to read, but thank you so much for sticking with me.

Please drop me a line and let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading!


	2. II

Kain had never been happier, more nervous, or more excited than the day he got to marry Sheska. It was a small, beautiful ceremony, and though she had no family left, his family, his unit all stepped in.

Even Edward Elric and his fiance, Winry Rockbell made an appearance. He knew that Sheska always held the Elric brothers in high regard, and she and Winry instantly adored each other.

It was so reassuring that, despite the difficult times, despite everything that had happened, for all the horrors and atrocities, all the nightmares, peacebuilding and conflict resolution attempts, there was still beauty in the world.

Nightmares rocked his sleep, so much so that sometimes Sheska couldn't shake him from reliving the horrors of being on the front lines. He had changed so much, been forced to grow up and grow into himself - but he couldn't dare feel sorry for himself. Not when he had worked for months and months in Ishval, faced every day with the horrors that had befallen on innocent people, some at the hands of some of the people that he looked up to the very most. They all had their reasons of doing what they did, and they were trying to rebuild and atone for what they had done.

There were to be trials, but Kain didn't think they would happen for a very long time.

For now, all they could do was focus on the future. And his future was Sheska.

When Kain found out he was to be a Father, he couldn't remember ever feeling more elated. He'd thought that on his wedding day, that he could never be happier, or that no moment would ever top the rush he felt when she said 'I Do", but heavens, was he wrong.

Surely, there had to have been days that came close, but he certainly couldn't recall them.

"I wish my Mother was here." Sheska wiped tears from her cheeks and Kain kissed her forehead.

"I know she'd be so happy and proud. But I'm sure she's smiling up at you from the Heavens."

Sheska smiled, glancing up towards the sky.

Neither of them had ever been particularly religious. There was something about reading so many books, and partaking so much in scientific theory, that sometimes it was hard to believe in a Greater God. But … at the same time, Kain knew that Sheska believed there were miracles that were outside of the scope of human understanding. Something had to account for them, right? And if it could bring her comfort, to know that her Mother was looking down on her, keeping an eye out for her, then damn, he believed it too.

Kain awoke, screaming into the darkness, completely unaware of where he was, until he heard the familiar, soothing voice, and felt hands touch his cheeks.

"It's alright, Kain. You're safe. I'm here." Sheska soothed him.

"I thought - I dreamt -" He was covered in sweat, gasping for air. His normal war related terrors, that had been few and far between lately, had been plagued by his unborn child. He had a nightmare where Sheska, eight months pregnant, had been shot by … a sniper. He didn't dare think who.

"We're safe", Sheska repeated over and over, storking Kain's hair. And they were.

* * *

Kain was working away in the office he shared with Mustang, Hawkeye, Havoc, and Breda. It had been great to be reunited with his unit, as difficult as the rebuilding and reconciliation project had been.

He was a little immersed in his work, barely realizing that his wife was in the office until she waddled towards him. Kain thought that Sheska looked as beautiful as ever, though she constantly complained about not being able to see her toes, and how swollen she felt. He couldn't blame her, the Ishvalan heat was almost unbearable anyway, he couldn't imagine the added stress on her body of being pregnant.

Her pregnancy had been going well, with no complications, and Sheska had done so much reading up on pregnancy, childbirth, and a baby's first year that she knew what her body was doing even better than her midwife.

"Sheska!" Kain hopped up, grabbing his wife's hand. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, everything is fine. I'm going a little stir crazy so I thought I'd come and see how you lot were getting on. I brought cookies! I experimented a little, so they're peanut butter chocolate chip."

Kain grimaced. Despite reading up on it, Sheska wasn't the best baker. Still, the unit made sure they ate her baked goods in front of her, even if they did dispose of them after she left.

"That's very kind of you, Sheska." Hawkeye smiled warmly, offering Sheska her chair.

"No, I'm alright. Thank you! It's good to stretch the legs, you know."

"When are you due?"

"My midwife believes it'll be another couple of weeks, but I'm not so sure, I feel like the little one could come any time." Sheska patted her stomach and smiled fondly down at it.

"You look beautiful as ever, Sheska." Mustang nodded at her from his desk, and Sheska nodded back.

Kain couldn't help but notice the interesting change in dynamic between the two of them, and he wondered what kind of a conversation they'd had, if they even had a chance to ever be alone. He supposed if it had been important enough, she would have mentioned it. But he was also extremely thankful that her opinions of his commanding officer had changed from before he went to the front lines.

Mustang wasn't just his superior, he was Kain's friend. Kain respected him, looked up to him.

"I can't wait to meet the little guy." Havoc leaned lazily against his desk.

The entire team thought they were going to be having a little boy, but Kain wasn't so sure. Not that it mattered to them either way. Maybe it was a good thing they were all predicting the same outcome, otherwise they'd probably be betting on it.

"Me either", Sheska admitted with a laugh, leaving the tin of cookies on the corner of Kain's desk. "I'll let you get back to work."

Kissing Kain on the cheek, which made the tips of his ears go red, Sheska waved at the rest of the team, and then waddled out the door.

"She has a way of growing on you, doesn't she?" Kain heard Breda ask Havoc who was banging an inedible cookie on the desk, and he smiled.

She certainly did.


	3. III

Kain sat on the grass, wringing his hands together as he stared at the tombstone.

 _Here lies Sheska Fuery 1894-1920_

 _Devoted Wife, Friend, Librarian_

How unkind life was. It had shaken them all to their very cores, chewed them up, spat them all back out, and they were expected to live like nothing had happened. Expected to rebuild from the ashes of what was left for them, to find happiness and peace where they could.

And they had. They had managed to find their sparks of happiness and nurture the sparks into flames. Despite everything, he and Sheska had a friendship, a bond, and she had calmed and soothed him even in his most unhappy moments.

And now she'd been taken away. There was a complication with her birth, and she'd died just after their beautiful daughter was born. Before she had even a chance to hold her own daughter.

After a lot of contemplation, Kain decided to name his daughter Hope. By god, did he cling onto his hope, if only for her. She and Sheska had thrown many names around for both sexes, but Sheska kept asserting that they would name their child together, after meeting them. She insisted that once they met their child, they would know, that a perfect name would come to them.

Kain punched the grass, staring blankly ahead for a few moments before wiping the tears off his cheeks. Hawkeye and Mustang were watching Hope, and Kain didn't want to take too much advantage of their offer.

Another heartbreak. Another letdown. A life ended before it had really begun. A happy ending ripped away before it had a chance.

But life goes on. And on, and on.

Kain had never been the type to throw pity parties for too long. Even if he had wanted to, his family, his unit, wouldn't have let him. On most days, Kain would bring Hope into the office and work while she slept. Sometimes, if he was in the midst of working on something complicated, one of the team members would get up and soothe her if she cried.

For the most part, she was a happy baby. Most nights, she woke herself up and cried, requiring soothing before she would go back to sleep, but Kain had a difficult time sleeping through the night anyway, and almost welcomed the distraction.

Once, he overheard Havoc and Mustang speaking in hushed tones about how they were expecting some sort of breakdown, but that only fueled Kain's determination to keep on.

He and Hope visited Sheska's grave every day, sometimes leaving different books, sometimes leaving flowers. Perhaps it was morbid to bring a child to a graveyard, but those were the cycles of life.

And so he went on.

Life always went on.


End file.
